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The Fabric of Life or What Material Should I Use To Make That Dress With?

There are many different types of fabrics, and many different ideas and crafts to do with them. For example, say you were redoing your home. For your kitchen, you could use cotton to make beautiful crisp curtains to hang above your windows. For a bedroom and living room, you may want to try velour for that sophisticated look. Don't want to throw out Great-grandma's old raggedy chair? No problem, just reupholster it and its as good as new.

Or, if you or someone you know is having a baby, you could try oilcloth to make a diaper bag, or lace to add a delicate finishing touch to a bib, blanket or that cute little bonnet.

You can find all of these fabrics and more just about anywhere. You could try your local fabric and craft store. Browse the isles and get the feel for the fabric that would best suit your need. Or you could shop for the right fabrics from home on the internet.

There are many different fabric stores and outlets including wholesale fabric, quilt fabric and fleece fabric out there and on the internet. Most of the time you could get factory outlet prices when shopping for your fabric from home.

The best thing about purchasing the fabric from the factory is you can get excellent quality fabrics for a fraction of the cost you would spend at the store. If you do your homework and know what kind of fabric and feel you want for that new project, chances are the outcome will be stunning to your guests and easy on your pocketbook!

posted by xtrx @ 11:38 PM 0 comments

The Top 10 Ways to Reduce Violence

I happen to live near the one of the tragic "school shootings" of the recent past, and I've seen how the grief, anger, heartache and turmoil have impacted our community. It has brought home that a general abhorrence of violence is not enough. While I'm sure others will have different, and perhaps wiser, suggestions about how to reduce violence, here are my Top 10 Ways to Reduce Violence. If you can improve them, I welcome your feedback, but I suspect it may be more important and more useful if you write a letter to your local newspaper or school board. Together, we can reduce and perhaps eliminate violence.

1. Disconnect anger from violence. I am convinced that human beings get angry, and that anger at injustice is often justified. There is healthy anger that insists, "There has to be a better way!" I shutter when I hear parents tell children, "You shouldn't be angry." Tell them instead, "You're feelings are OK, you can be angry, but you may not hit or hurt others."

2. See the connection between the love of violence and violence itself. Fascination with brutality, guns and bombs, war and evil must increase the chances for violent behavior. I can't prove that, it just seems likely to me.

3. See the connection between all levels of violence. Insults and taunting, humiliation and shaming are forms of violence. When we treat people badly, it should not surprise us when they seek a way to "get even."

4. Take all violence seriously. Playground bullies and sibling rivalries do not have to be accepted as part of life, at least not when children are getting hurt. Kids squabbling over "my toy" is one thing; hitting or pulling hair or knocking each other down is something else. We do not have to accept it as normal behavior.

5. Take troubled, angry people seriously. We talk about needing more early intervention with troubled kids, and I agree. But people of all ages get trapped in situations they can't handle, with emotions they don't know how to express. Domestic violence, violence among co-workers and among children should always be treated as a serious matter. Hitting and hurting, and threatening to hurt, are not OK.

6. Deal with the availability of guns. Knives, cars, and a thousand other things also kill people, but guns have a unique place in the American imagination. Of course, they also have a place in the rich tradition of hunting and target shooting. I don't have all the answers, but hunting seems different than having military-style weapons available in millions of homes across the country. There must be a better system.

7. Acknowledge the connection between violent images and violent behavior. I abhor censorship, so this is a tough one. But if 30-second images can sell us lipstick and Buicks, and change the way we vote, it seems likely that hours and hours of explosions, shootings, fights and mayhem may also influence behavior. To be blunt, I am particularly troubled by the violence in video games and the number of violent "action adventure" movies we support as a culture. Something strange is going on!

8. Acknowledge the connection between sports and violent behavior. Again, sports is a sacred icon in American culture, but it seems that sports have been separated from athletics. Instead of every child participating in gym class and competing in intramural sports, we have a culture of super-hero super-stars who are virtually above the law. Hockey, basketball, football and other sports all tolerate behavior that would result in arrest for assault outside the sports arena. Competition and fitness are valuable; organized violence is not acceptable!

9. Acknowledge the connection between language and violence. Business uses the language of the battlefield, and sports is full of encouragement to "get out there and kill", "massacre them", and "beat their brains out". Our legal system is based on the idea of lawyer's doing battle. While hiring a representative to fight with words instead of clubs was a huge step forward in the middle ages, perhaps our society is ready for an even higher level of conflict resolution.

10. See the violence in ourselves. Sometimes I find myself so angry I "daydream" about violence, or "really showing them". I hear jokes that use the phrase, "Just shoot the bastards!" I know if "looks could kill" or if cutting statements actually drew blood, I'd be in deep trouble. Violence is not just someone else's problem. I must work for peace, love and improved conflict resolution in my own life. How about you?

posted by xtrx @ 6:32 PM 0 comments

Public Speaking: Self-Effacing Humor

Self-effacing humor, or making fun of yourself is quite a contrast. It is a very powerful form of humor that gets its strength from highlighting your weaknesses. It seems that people who have the ability to laugh at themselves in just the right amount during a public speaking engagement are perceived as secure, confident, strong, and likeable.

With this type of humor, a little goes a long way. If you overdo it during a public speaking engagement, you will look like a doomsayer who is always putting yourself down. If you can't bring yourself to use any self-effacing humor, you should learn. I must be candid here. Most people hate to deal with a stuffed shirt. Unfortunately, if you can't poke a little fun at yourself, that is the way you are perceived.

I think the reason self-effacing humor works so well is that weak people feel the need to inflate themselves and powerful people don't. If you have the confidence to tease yourself, you are indirectly sending the message to the audience that you are secure and powerful. Most audiences can see right through speakers who are trying to puff themselves up. It turns them off quickly.

The person who is not afraid to tease him or herself is the one who makes the greatest connection with the audience because everyone in the audience has embarrassed themselves or failed at something at one time or the other. If you use self-effacing humor, the audience knows that you, as the presenter, know how it feels to fail. That is a very powerful magnet.

Katharine Rolfe, President of The Lighten Up Club, takes self-effacing humor one step further. She says, 'I call it self-appreciating humor because it conveys a positive appreciation of ourselves as humans who are simply out there doing our best and bumbling along as we go.' Katharine's organization believes the key to a happy life is the ability to laugh at yourself, for then you are never without a source of amusement.

Unless you are a Don Rickles type presenter (known for his hockey puck teasing style of humor), you should never set yourself up as superior to the audience either socially, financially, or intellectually. You want the audience to accept you as one of them. Let them feel superior to you in some way. Your audience would rather hear about the time you fell on your face, rather than the time you won the race.

That is why self-effacing humor is great during speaking engagements. The audience likes the fact that you openly admit your weaknesses. They laugh, but they still respect you because you are self-confident enough to joke about yourself.

There are any number of things you can tease yourself about. Your physical appearance is good if you are especially tall, or short or fat or bald. Just make sure that the physical appearance is obvious to the audience. If you are disorganized, you could tease yourself about that. If you can't parallel park, you could tease yourself about that. Just about anything will work as long as you are the target.

What you want to avoid teasing about is any subject that has a direct tie to your credibility. For instance, if you were a nuclear control room technician, you would not want to joke about the time you pushed the wrong button. But, if you got fired from your job as a nuclear control room technician for almost pushing the wrong button, then this fact might be a good topic for humor. It could turn into a great topic if you now own a landscaping company or are in some other non-threatening position.

To use self-effacing humor, you don't necessarily have to joke about yourself. You can make fun of your family background, your profession, or anything else that directly relates to you. I tell a story in my presentations about the time my mom came from our very small hometown to visit me in the big city of Washington, D.C. The audience hears about how small Claysville is and that my mom's house is way out in the sticks. We didn't have city water, or city sewerage, or cable TV. I then go on to tell how we took a trip on the Spirit of Washington for a dinner cruise and went sightseeing all over the capital. Here's how the end of the story goes:

"When we got home that evening I was exhausted, so I told mom I was going to bed and that I would see her in the morning. She said, "OK. I'm just going to watch the news and then I'll go to bed." I got up at about 2:00 a.m. and there was mom sitting in front of the TV. Her head was nodding and drooping. I said, "Mom. What are you doing?" She said, "I'm just waiting for the news to be over." Well she would have waited a long time because she was watching . . .CNN 24 hour headline news."

In this story I was not directly teasing myself. I was teasing about my small town background and about the innocent and funny boner my mom pulled when she came to visit.

Former president Ronald Reagan was a master at using self-effacing humor. In his bid for the Presidency in 1980 his age appeared to be his biggest obstacle. He attacked the problem with self-effacing humor. He would joke about his age all the time which turned age into a non-issue. He told a group of reporters once, 'Thomas Jefferson once said, 'One should not worry about chronological age compared to the ability to perform the task.' . . . Ever since Thomas Jefferson told me that I stopped worrying about my age.'

Look for opportunities to tease yourself. This will be one of your most powerful tools to connect with the audience and a subtle way to show your strength.

posted by xtrx @ 3:46 PM 0 comments